Westfield

We live in a leafy suburb about 35 miles southwest of midtown Manhattan. I've disliked it almost from the moment we set foot here. When we moved back to the US from Israel in 1995 my wife and I divided up the chores. I would find an income and Lenore would find us housing. Sometimes it is hard to change things once they are in place. I found my job at The Times six weeks after our arrival (and I am still there 2 blocks from where I started) and Lenore found us an apartment in Westfield in about the same time frame (and we are a half mile from there now).

We ended up in Westfield because another couple who we became acquainted with in Israel lived here. Lenore did not want to return to Brooklyn because after 4 years of being away from there she couldn't face the headaches of parking, crime, fighting to get your kids in the right schools, and the other unpleasantness of life in New York City. The choices in the rest of New Jersey were overwhelming and Westfield seemed like an OK choice to her at the time.

On paper, Westfield has a lot going for it. The school's are good, crime not a concern, and the housing stock varied. I feel out of place here. I don't think I can count a single friend. My children and wife have fared a bit better but I think we all feel like outsiders. We don't play golf and only have one car and it's just a sedan, not even an SUV. Our kids were never involved in the programming that everyone else's children were. It's just never felt like home. I would often joke to people that I don't actually live in Westfield, I just sleep there.

In another year my younger daughter will be finished with high school. In spite of my unhappiness it didn't seem to make any sense to uproot her. I am hoping that we will begin the search for a better place next year.

What am I looking for? I think what tops the list is a community. I want to feel that there are neighbors I can drop in on and that feel comfortable dropping in on us. I want some kind of natural draw; a beach, park, bicycling route. I want a decent (less than 1 hour) commute to work. A Jewish community would also be nice but one that isn't necessarily based on synagogue life. Maybe this is asking too much. The truth is I think very fondly back on our lifestyle in Karmiel and even on Kibbutz Hannaton.

If you have any suggestions I would love to hear about them.